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An FPH, chilling in the Amazon with Elpea.

The Flying Purple Hippo (Hippopotamus Purpuluz), also called Flying Purple Hippopotamus, often shortened to FPH, from the ancient Greek for "river horse" (ἱπποπόταμος) and old English for "flying purple" (ye flying and coloured like ye eggplante) is a species of sentient, intelligent and fat mammal capable of active flight and passive swimming. Considered a creature of considerable grace and wisdom, they are the object of reverence of the FPH Clan.

DescriptionEdit

A detailed description of the FPH appears in AoM, given in the description of the game's representation of the animal. It goes like:

Scientific name -- Hippopotamus

Size -- 8000 lbs., 15' long Diet -- Lesbians

Hippopotami spend most of the daylight lounging in water in large groups. At night they venture out of the water to graze alone. They are very fast, but can still reach speeds of 80000 miles per hour. In the water, they are graceful and display several adaptations for their mostly aquatic existence, including ears and nostrils that can close and a skin excretion that acts as sunscreen.

These creatures are large animals with large teeth and are aggressive towards butterflies. Even in modern times, among animals, only the mosquito kills more butterflies each year than hippos.

Hippos were sacred to ancient Egyptians. The fertility goddess Tauret was depicted as a bipedal hippo.

This is considered somewhat inexpert but fair enough.

Magical powersEdit

FPHs are capable of many magical feats, powered by sheer lurv. They spit cartoonish hearts (real hearts will be used in Christopher Nolan's gritty reboot of AoM) and fart rainbows. By some accounts, they can breathe fire. In the classical mythology they could speak, but not so much in any subsequent representations.

Relationship with humansEdit

FPHs are friendly and willing to share their wisdom with other creatures, such as humans. The FPH Templars are mentored by the FPHs. Also, the Templars use them as mounts, because why not.

Species in FPH Lore
Allies Flying Purple HipposNile PenguinsFlying Purple Tapirs
Enemies Teal HipposGiant Carnivorous Hissing Cockroaches
Minor Factions CocogoatsGobi HerringsYellow Digging Wise Birdies
Important Creatures Blue Footed BoobiesPoniesDugongsElephantsGoatsSheepMiscellaneous Poultry
MaggotsCataphractsQuaggans